A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to My Surgery

A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to My Surgery

The older I get, the more time I spend at ologists. You know – the dermatologist, cardiologist, urologist, gastroenterologist, colonoscopologist, and, for reasons I’m still a little fuzzy about, my geologist. Recently, I had to go to the hospital for a minor procedure with one of those ologists.

While getting ready in pre-op, I was instructed to completely disrobe and put on one of those ever-so–flattering, open-in-the-back hospital gowns. To complete my ensemble, they required me to wear a stylish shower cap. Then my wife and the nurse barged in and this photo was taken. Between the nurse’s expression and my garb, this photo looks like an opening for an Onion News piece. So, I posted it on Facebook and solicited suggestions for an appropriately clever or snarky caption.

Below are just a few of the submissions I received, plus some caption ideas of my own.…

Nurse, does this hospital gown make my butt look fat?

Mr. Jones, Your results are in. Congratulations. It’s a boy.

WTF? Is that a… TAIL!!!!???

And that’s when the nurse noticed that Tim’s colonoscopy prep was still working.

Nurse, is it absolutely necessary they shave my pubic region? After all, I’m only here for an initial consultation about a mole on my shoulder. (more…)