BREAKING NEWS: Obama Caused World War II, According to Trump

BREAKING NEWS: Obama Caused World War II, According to Trump

[Author’s Note: Tim Jones of the news website View from the Bleachers (VFTB), in an exclusive interview with Donald Trump, asked the presidential candidate to clarify his claim that President Obama was the “Founder of Isis.” Below is an excerpt from this revealing interview.]

Trump interview - one on oneTim Jones / View from the Bleachers: Mr. Trump, thank you for agreeing to meet with me today.

Donald Trump: Hey, you look familiar. Didn’t I throw you out of one of my rallies?

VFTB: Um, I think you have me mistaken for someone else. Last week you said Obama was the Founder of Isis, and yet – 

Trump: That’s right. Barack HUSSEIN Obama – Founder and Chairman of the Board. And Hillary Clinton is their Chief Operating Officer. These are two bad people, really bad. You have no idea how bad. Disgusting. 

VFTB: I see. So just how bad are they, Mr. Trump? 

Trump: Well, for one thing, I just learned that Obama caused the crash of the Hindenburg.

VFTB: THE Hindenburg? I’m sorry. Are you talking about the zeppelin that crashed over New Jersey? That Hindenburg?? 

Trump: Absolutely. Terrible tragedy. 

VFTB: You do realize the Hindenburg exploded in 1937. Obama wasn’t born until 1961. So, how could he possibly be responsible for that disaster? 

Trump: I’m close personal friends with the guy who directed the documentary Back to the Future, about traveling through time. Doc Brown proved it’s possible if you have the right technology, like a DeLorean with a flux capacitor.

VFTB: You know that was a fictional movie –

Trump: I also know people in the CIA who are experts in this time travel stuff. They’ve sent teams back in time to investigate all sorts of events. And they’re finding some amazing things, amazing things, believe me.

VFTB: So you’re saying you sent a team of time traveling investigators back in time to dig up evidence proving Obama caused the Hindenburg crash –

Trump: Shocking, I know. Trust me. But I have unbelievable evidence. Just unbelievable. But it’s far from the worst thing Obama’s done. He also caused World War II. A terrible guy, this Obama.

VFTB: Excuse me? You’re saying that President Obama is somehow to blame for The Second World War?  Continue reading “BREAKING NEWS: Obama Caused World War II, According to Trump” »

Trump’s Efforts to Lose the Election Continue to Falter

Trump’s Efforts to Lose the Election Continue to Falter

[Author’s Note: Tim Jones of the news website View from the Bleachers (VFTB) was granted an exclusive interview with Donald Trump. Jones asked the Republican presidential nominee how he could still be running neck and neck with Hillary Clinton despite his repeated instances of inflammatory rhetoric and offensive remarks.]

Trump - losing the election - interviewTim Jones / View from the Bleachers: Good afternoon, Mr. Trump. Thank you for agreeing to meet with me today.

Donald Trump: My pleasure, Tim. Let’s Make America Great Again. Would you like one of my baseball caps?

VFTB: I’m good. Thanks. Mr. Trump, the latest Quinnipiac poll shows you just two percentage points behind your Democratic rival, Hillary Clinton. How do you explain that you are running neck and neck –

Trump: I prefer to say ‘I’m breathing down her neck.’ Sexy, eh?

VFTB: Ahem, yes, well, how do you explain your continued success, given the endless list of offensive comments you have made about Mexicans, Muslims, women, gays, and other minority groups? 

Trump: You left out people with disabilities.

VFTB: Oh right, yes, them as well. How is it that, despite all that, you’re still in a virtual dead heat for the presidential election?

Trump: Beats the Hell out of me. Wish I could explain it. Every day, I huddle with my advisors to strategize about how I can submarine my chances, but it seems no matter what I come up with, my poll numbers stay strong.

VFTB: I’m sorry. Did I hear you correctly? Are you saying you don’t actually want to be president?

Trump: Are you kidding me? What kind of idiot would want the worst job in the world? As president, no matter what you say or do, some knucklehead will attack you for being anti-American or a Muslim sympathizer or a loser – just like I do about Obama every chance I get.

VFTB: So you really don’t want to be president? Continue reading “Trump’s Efforts to Lose the Election Continue to Falter” »