VIEW from the BLEACHERS
A humor blog
by Tim Jones, BA, JD, MBA, ESQ, FAQ, INC, LOL, WTF, UBU, IDK, ETC
Please Stop Saying “At YOUR Age”
Dear People Under Forty, as a person who is in his late sixties, I have a small request. Whenever we’re together could you please refrain from saying, “at your age?” When you say those words, what I hear is “Dude, I can’t believe how old you are, not to mention frail, out of touch, mentally incompetent, and likely to tip over at any moment. Do you need to go pee?”
Unattainable New Year’s Resolutions: A Guide to Setting Impossible Goals You’ll Never Achieve
Ah, the dawn of a new year, a time when gyms are filled to capacity with resolution-makers who, let's be honest, will probably give up on their newfound commitment to fitness faster than you can say "cheeseburger." I thought about it. Why limit myself to mundane...
My Sliding Doors Moments
A “Sliding Doors” moment refers to a seemingly inconsequential moment that alters the trajectory of future events or impacts a person’s destiny. It comes from the 1998 movie by the same name. I’ve had two of them in my life. One changed my life profoundly. The other saved it.
NFL’s Chiefs Do Major Rebranding – Introducing the Kansas City Swifties
Lately, pop star Taylor Swift’s presence at Kansa City Chiefs games has caused a huge spike in TV ratings for the NFL and the Chiefs in particular. That’s why, in a stunning decision, the Kansas City Chiefs have just announced that the team is officially changing its name from the Chiefs to the Kansas City Swifties.
House Republicans Rumored to be Considering Putin for Speaker
For the past several weeks, the U.S. House of Representatives has been a House Divided. That’s because a group of representatives voted to remove Kevin McCarthy as Speaker. This had never happened before in the 247 years of our nation’s existence. The mutiny came from...
The Day I’ve Dreaded for Ten Years
I’ve never claimed to be the bravest man in the world. I never served in combat zones like both my parents did. That said, I’d like to point out I did attend an all-boys’ military school (grades 7 – 12) in which I had to march with a gun in several parades. So, that’s...