VIEW from the BLEACHERS
A humor blog
by Tim Jones, BA, JD, MBA, ESQ, FAQ, INC, LOL, WTF, UBU, IDK, ETC
Why Trump Should Be Immune From Prosecution But Biden Should Not
[Author’s note for the humor-impaired: This week’s article is political satire. – TEJ] I’m mad as Hell. I’ve been watching nothing but News Max and Fox News for two weeks straight. They’ve got me so riled up, I’ve only had seven hours of sleep in the past three days....
Taylor Swift, Please Don’t Break My Heart
I’m a big fan of Taylor Swift. Call me a Swiftie. But I am starting to get concerned that if she ever entered into an affair with me, she just might break my heart – not to mention royally piss off my wife – and Travis Kelce, for that matter. So, Taylor, if you’re reading this, let’s just agree to be friends. Our lives are complicated enough as they are.
The Sad Lives of Couples Who Opted Not to Have Kids
My wife and I raised two self-confident, spirited daughters. Now in their late twenties, they both had to overcome several daunting childhood adversities, starting with the fact that one of their parents was a humor writer who had the maturity (on a good day) of an...
Friends with Boats
As I look back on my youth, I realize that I’ve matured. I’m no longer that zealously ambitious young man who craved fortune and “the good life.” If I’m being totally honest, I was overly pre-occupied with acquiring “stuff.” I wanted a nice car; a house I could be...
Please Stop Saying “At YOUR Age”
Dear People Under Forty, as a person who is in his late sixties, I have a small request. Whenever we’re together could you please refrain from saying, “at your age?” When you say those words, what I hear is “Dude, I can’t believe how old you are, not to mention frail, out of touch, mentally incompetent, and likely to tip over at any moment. Do you need to go pee?”
Unattainable New Year’s Resolutions: A Guide to Setting Impossible Goals You’ll Never Achieve
Ah, the dawn of a new year, a time when gyms are filled to capacity with resolution-makers who, let's be honest, will probably give up on their newfound commitment to fitness faster than you can say "cheeseburger." I thought about it. Why limit myself to mundane...