VIEW from the BLEACHERS

My personal search for signs of intelligent life in the universe and in my neighborhood

A humor blog

by Tim Jones, BA, JD, MBA, ESQ, FAQ, INC, LOL, WTF, UBU, IDK, ETC

The Secret Rules of Chess

by TEJ | Feb 18, 2019 | Parenting and Family humor | 0 Comments

As a parent, I have long tried to be a role model for my children. I have always striven to teach my daughters fundamental values like honesty and good sportsmanship – except when it came to chess. Then all bets were off. I taught my girls my Secret Rules of Chess, which, when I employ them, no eight-year-old chess wizard can defeat me.

Trump Translation Guide

by TEJ | Feb 5, 2019 | Political humor | 0 Comments

View from the Bleachers offers a list of some President Trump’s most common pronouncements, along with our best guestimate of what he actually means. We apologize for any correct spellings which may appear to contradict the President’s preferred misspelling.

A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to My Surgery

by TEJ | Jan 21, 2019 | Lifestyles humor | 0 Comments

They say a picture is worth a thousand words. And sometimes those words are hilarious. Such is the case with one of the most embarrassing photos ever taken of me. It was so embarrassing that I decided to post it on Facebook and invited people to submit possible captions. Turns out there was no shortage of creative, or at least snarky suggestions for captions.

BREAKING NEWS: Canada Announces Plans to Build Southern Border Wall

by TEJ | Jan 14, 2019 | In the News Humor, Political humor | 4 Comments

Due to all the tumult along its southern border, with caravans of desperate people – including, no doubt, many dangerous criminal elements – the nation’s chief executive finally issued an executive order – to protect his people once and for all.

A Tale of Two Brities

by TEJ | Jan 8, 2019 | In the News Humor, Other Attempts at Humor | 3 Comments

This is a historical fiction based on two proud British generals who were supposed to join forces at the Battle of Saratoga to defeat the American colonists’ uprising once and for all. But things did not go exactly as planned. This is the imagined series of letters sent between them leading up to a series of unfortunate events.

A Night at the Opera – Act Two

by TEJ | Dec 5, 2018 | Fun and Leisure Humor | 3 Comments

Last year, I did something really stupid. I listened to my wife. More specifically, I agreed to join her for a night at the opera. After my maiden opera experience a year ago, I swore I would never endure that punishment again. And then I went back. Read my advice for how to prepare for the ordeal if you can’t wriggle out of it the next time your spouse insists on going.