VIEW from the BLEACHERS

My personal search for signs of intelligent life in the universe and in my neighborhood

A humor blog

by Tim Jones, BA, JD, MBA, ESQ, FAQ, INC, LOL, WTF, UBU, IDK, ETC

Travels With Grumpy

Travels With Grumpy

I have this teddy bear. His name is Grumpy. He’s gone on many a vacation with me over the past forty years. Kind or hard to explain. But he’s been a loyal, accommodating, quiet traveling companion for all this time – until now. Grumpy has a few things he wants to get off his chest. I didn’t know stuffed animals could do that.

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A Matter of Time

A Matter of Time

Once upon a time, a long time ago, I was thinking about the notion of time. While I was watching prime time TV, I had some spare time to think about it, and it occurred to me that life is a race against time. Now, you may say I’m behind the times, but I advise you to read this column – while there’s still time.

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NFL Rules Changes in Light of COVID

NFL Rules Changes in Light of COVID

For the 2020 season, the NFL will commence another regular football season. But there won’t be very much that will be “regular” about it. Here are just a few changes you’ll be seeing this year, thanks to COVID.

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Stressed Out Meditation

Stressed Out Meditation

Recently I’ve been experiencing a lot of stress in my life. So, I decided to purchase a meditation / relaxation CD to help me relax and clear out my mind. But I have to say, I’ve been listening to it. And I don’t think it’s actually helping. In fact, I think it’s making things worse. Not sure why.

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Trump Team Searches for a New 2020 Campaign Slogan

Trump Team Searches for a New 2020 Campaign Slogan

Recently, President Trump’s campaign has been struggling to come up with a new campaign slogan for his 2020 re-election bid. He can’t use Make America Great Again because, well, he’s already accomplished that bigly. So, I have done some brainstorming and come up with a list of possible Trump 2020 campaign slogans.

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Sleepless in Seattle

Sleepless in Seattle

Lately, I’ve had difficulty sleeping at night. I either have a bad case of Restless Leg Syndrome or an epic case of the Harlem Shakes. Friends have offered countless suggestions for how to get a restful night’s sleep. None of them have worked so far. But a buddy swears he knows a surefire cure: Drink a fifth of Tequila while watching the film Weekend at Bernie’s in the nude.

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Check out my new View from the Bleachers YouTube channel

I Am So Sick of White Guys

A bitingly hilarious political satire coloring book — the perfect gift to infuriate that special Trump supporter in your life.

YOU'RE GROUNDED FOR LIFE

You're Grounded For Life book

Read this hysterically funny book about Tim Jones’s many parenting failures — Sure to make you feel like Parent of the Year by comparison.

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