VIEW from the BLEACHERS
My personal search for signs of intelligent life in the universe and in my neighborhood
A humor blog
by Tim Jones, BA, JD, MBA, ESQ, FAQ, INC, LOL, WTF, UBU, IDK, ETC
Recently, I signed up to receive my genealogical history from a service called Ancestree.com. The report came back that I was distantly related to a ficus. Turns out the service is not related to Ancestry.com. I’ll never make that mistake again.
The true retelling of the time I got caught by the police in a major criminal act – er, well, I violated the speed limit, sort of. It’s hard to explain.
Welcome to today’s class on How to Use Zoom – For Seniors. By now, you have probably heard that everybody is on Zoom, due to the Coronavirus pandemic. If you’re not familiar with the Coronavirus, perhaps you’re in the wrong class. You might want to consider our introductory lecture series, What’s Been Happening Since You Crawled Under a Rock.
When your wife asks you to go to Home Depot with her to pick out white paint for one of your rooms, be prepared for a long outing. You might want to request a couple vacation days. You’re going to be there a while.
During the Coronavirus pandemic, there are many important things you should do to protect yourself, like turning off the TV the moment you see President Trump standing near a podium. Perhaps almost as important is practicing good hygiene, starting with washing your hands with soap and water any time you touch something potentially toxic, like a shopping cart, a doorknob, or your five-year-old son, Nathan.
In yet another journalistic first, the Award-Winning View from the Bleachers was able to get an exclusive interview with celebrated environmental advocate, Mother Nature. According to her, the Coronavirus is the best thing to happen to planet earth since the invention of the electric car or the Clapper.