VIEW from the BLEACHERS
My personal search for signs of intelligent life in the universe and in my neighborhood
A humor blog
by Tim Jones, BA, JD, MBA, ESQ, FAQ, INC, LOL, WTF, UBU, IDK, ETC
“Buenos Nachos” – Beginning Spanish for American Tourists
Most Americans struggle when they travel to Mexico because with a few exceptions, like the words “Doritos” and “Taco Bell”, they really don’t know the language. Let me help you out. Here are a few tips to help you blend in like a local – well, maybe not a local, but at least not stand out like an annoying “Turista Americana.”
The Forgotten Minority Group – Picky Eaters
Throughout our nation’s fractious history, there has always been discrimination, hatred for and intolerance of people who were different. I’m a member of one of the last remaining oppressed minorities that you will never read about in the press or hear about on Twitter: Picky eaters.
Unraveling the Confusion About Cryptocurrency
What exactly is cryptocurrency? And what’s a blockchain? A “digital wallet?” And what is Bitcoin mining? Is crypto risky? You sure do ask a lot of questions. Just pay me $1 million in Bitcoin, and I’ll tell you everything you need to know. Trust me.
How to Offend People Without Really Trying
It has been pointed out to me that I apparently have a special talent – the ability to offend other people without having a clue as to exactly what I did wrong. I appear to be particularly adept at offending, annoying or otherwise emotionally upsetting my siblings. As a result of this special gift, I have also become extremely experienced at apologizing.
My Parents Never Told Me I was Chinese
My parents were good people. They tried to raise me to become a decent, caring person. But they lied to me – for years. They never told me I was Chinese. It took a call to Apple ID tech support to discover the truth about my genetic history.
Did You Find a Pair of Glasses I Lost?
Recently I was in the grocery store and I suddenly realized my glasses were missing. Had they fallen out of my pocket? Did I leave them at home? I finally solved the mystery. But in finding my glasses, it appears that I was also losing my mind.
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Give Someone Special the Very Best of View from the Bleachers
A collection of Tim Jones’ all-time funniest View from the Bleachers articles he’s written over the years.
Recent posts
“Buenos Nachos” – Beginning Spanish for American Tourists
The Forgotten Minority Group – Picky Eaters
Unraveling the Confusion About Cryptocurrency
How to Offend People Without Really Trying
My Parents Never Told Me I was Chinese
Did You Find a Pair of Glasses I Lost?
Judge Tim’s Court is Now in Session
Surviving Christmas Dinner with Relatives
My Lame Utah National Parks Vacation
The Burden of Being a Good Sport
YOU'RE GROUNDED FOR LIFE
Read this hysterically funny book about Tim Jones’s many parenting failures — Sure to make you feel like Parent of the Year by comparison.
