VIEW from the BLEACHERS

My personal search for signs of intelligent life in the universe and in my neighborhood

A humor blog

by Tim Jones, BA, JD, MBA, ESQ, FAQ, INC, LOL, WTF, UBU, IDK, ETC

So You’ve Been Asked to Come Back to the Office

So You’ve Been Asked to Come Back to the Office

Now that the COVID pandemic is on the wane, things are starting to return to the old normal. And that includes returning to work at your old office. Don’t worry. You’ll get the hang of it. It will be just like it’s been for the past year – except that you’ll no longer be able to play Minecraft during the team meetings, since they won’t be on Zoom anymore. Sorry about that.

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Never Accept a Ride From a Stranger

Never Accept a Ride From a Stranger

They seemed like such a lovely young couple, on their honeymoon, without a care in the world. And then, they made a fateful decision that almost changed the course of their destiny. They did something incredibly reckless and impulsive. They accepted a ride from a complete stranger. I saw the whole thing unfold because, well, I was that stranger.

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Does Anybody Need Mustard?

Does Anybody Need Mustard?

Do you need any mustard? We’ve got tons to spare. That’s because while it is my responsibility to do the grocery shopping, it’s my wife’s job to make up the grocery list. And that’s where the problem starts. Because she never checks to see our current inventory before coming up with her lists.

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Trump Announces His Official Precedential Liebrary

Trump Announces His Official Precedential Liebrary

President Trump today revealed his long-awaited plans for his presidential library. It will officially be known as the Donald J. Trump Presidential Liebrary, Resort, Casino and Adult Video Store. The exact location has not yet been announced, but sources wishing not to be named indicate it may be adjacent to a Las Vegas Hooters or an adult video store in Queens. Read the full press release.

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States Propose Bold Measures to Prevent Voter Fraud

States Propose Bold Measures to Prevent Voter Fraud

Due to complaints by Republicans of massive voter fraud in the 2020 election, Republican state legislators in 43 states have introduced over 541 voter security pieces of legislation designed to prevent Trump from losing next time. Check out some of the bold measures being proposed to preserve our democracy and ensure that the RIGHT candidate will always win from now on.

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The Challenge of Getting People to Follow Instructions

The Challenge of Getting People to Follow Instructions

Recently I sent an email asking my 11 racquetball buddies to fill out a 30-second survey. I asked them to indicate when they’d prefer to play, choosing from six available times. That was apparently a much harder ask than I realized. I might as well have been asking them to provide the formula for the next COVID vaccine.

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Check out my new YouTube channel

I Am So Sick of White Guys

A bitingly hilarious political satire coloring book — the perfect gift to infuriate that special Trump supporter in your life.

YOU'RE GROUNDED FOR LIFE

You're Grounded For Life book

Read this hysterically funny book about Tim Jones’s many parenting failures — Sure to make you feel like Parent of the Year by comparison.

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