VIEW from the BLEACHERS
My personal search for signs of intelligent life in the universe and in my neighborhood
A humor blog
by Tim Jones, BA, JD, MBA, ESQ, FAQ, INC, LOL, WTF, UBU, IDK, ETC
I have this teddy bear. His name is Grumpy. He’s gone on many a vacation with me over the past forty years. Kind or hard to explain. But he’s been a loyal, accommodating, quiet traveling companion for all this time – until now. Grumpy has a few things he wants to get off his chest. I didn’t know stuffed animals could do that.
Once upon a time, a long time ago, I was thinking about the notion of time. While I was watching prime time TV, I had some spare time to think about it, and it occurred to me that life is a race against time. Now, you may say I’m behind the times, but I advise you to read this column – while there’s still time.
For the 2020 season, the NFL will commence another regular football season. But there won’t be very much that will be “regular” about it. Here are just a few changes you’ll be seeing this year, thanks to COVID.
Recently I’ve been experiencing a lot of stress in my life. So, I decided to purchase a meditation / relaxation CD to help me relax and clear out my mind. But I have to say, I’ve been listening to it. And I don’t think it’s actually helping. In fact, I think it’s making things worse. Not sure why.
Recently, President Trump’s campaign has been struggling to come up with a new campaign slogan for his 2020 re-election bid. He can’t use Make America Great Again because, well, he’s already accomplished that bigly. So, I have done some brainstorming and come up with a list of possible Trump 2020 campaign slogans.
Lately, I’ve had difficulty sleeping at night. I either have a bad case of Restless Leg Syndrome or an epic case of the Harlem Shakes. Friends have offered countless suggestions for how to get a restful night’s sleep. None of them have worked so far. But a buddy swears he knows a surefire cure: Drink a fifth of Tequila while watching the film Weekend at Bernie’s in the nude.
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