VIEW from the BLEACHERS
My personal search for signs of intelligent life in the universe and in my neighborhood
A humor blog
by Tim Jones, BA, JD, MBA, ESQ, FAQ, INC, LOL, WTF, UBU, IDK, ETC
In this VFTB Exclusive, we were able to uncover the unredacted transcript of the official Termination of Employment Interview given to Donald Trump by his employer, the American people. This might surprise you, but apparently, he didn’t take it well.
Recently I launched my very own YouTube channel. Why did I decide at the age of 65 to undertake such a daunting new challenge? Simple. I’m an idiot. Learn what you need to do in order to avoid my terrible mistake.
When I was in my forties, I routinely worked 55-hour weeks and still found time to take an active part in raising our two young daughters. I even worked out for an hour five nights a week. Somehow, I got it all done. I’m now 65, with way more time on my hands than back then. But I never seem to get everything done anymore. Not even remotely. Where does the time go?
I recently sent my 26-year-old daughter a text message that deeply upset her. I wrote, “I love you. Hope you can come home soon.” My mistake? I used a period – which nowadays, according to young people, implies you’re angry and being demanding. Learn about other new rules about texting – before you alienate everyone under the age of 30.
In the run-up to the 2020 presidential election, alarm bells have gone off about the possibility of rampant voter fraud. Those alarm bells have mostly been set off by President Trump himself. So, he’s taken quick executive action to ensure a fair election, by which he means he wins.
Several years ago, my sister Betsy was interviewed on NBC’s Today Show by Katie Couric, with her two young twin boys. To really explain how in the world my sister ended up on national TV, we need to go back to a day nine years earlier when I took my then-pregnant sister on a car ride that would eventually lead her to national celebrity.
Check out my new View from the Bleachers YouTube channel