VIEW from the BLEACHERS
My personal search for signs of intelligent life in the universe and in my neighborhood
A humor blog
by Tim Jones, BA, JD, MBA, ESQ, FAQ, INC, LOL, WTF, UBU, IDK, ETC
I had a few tech support questions. I found the CONTACT US page on the company’s website. It gave me several options to choose from to get immediate assistance. I guess by “immediate” assistance, they meant sometime before the next full moon.
Over those years, scores of people have suggested humor topics for me to write about. Their ideas typically consist of a four-word concept, like “something about McDonald’s fries. That would be funny, don’t you think?” Um, yeah. Hilarious, buddy.
Prepare to be amazed. Introducing the one, the only GREAT PHONINI, the world’s greatest telephone magician – and as far as we can tell, the ONLY one.
A while back, my wife and I went through a difficult time. She caught me kissing another woman. But I have a defense: The other woman was extremely attractive. No, wait, I mean, um, let me explain.
This is Donald Trump. I want to thank you – and roughly 470 million other Americans – for your generous donation to my Election Defense Fund. If you don’t actually recall making a donation, no worries. We know you wanted to. That’s why we hired a Russian internet troll farm to scrape your credit card info. Thanks for Making America Great Again.
Cat lovers do all sorts of crazy things with their cats. They talk to them, dress them up in costumes, even put them in a backpack and take them for a hike. I would never do anything so ridiculous as that with my cat. Instead, I make up silly songs and serenade them, like any normal adult.
Check out my new YouTube channel