Posts Tagged ‘Jesus’

Kids, Ask Me About God
– By Reverend Tornquist

[Note from the staff at VFTB: This week, we are privileged to feature a LIVE CHAT with noted Christian evangelist Reverend Norman Tornquist, host of the popular webcast, Kids, Ask Me About God. Tornquist is the renowned author of children’s books including God Loves Kids with Braces Too, and Skittles – The Devil’s Gateway Snack. We join the LIVE CHAT already in progress….]

Kids ask me about GodReverend Tornquist: I see we have a question from Sophie. Hello, Sophie. How old are you?

Sophie: Hi, Reverend Toadkiss. I’m four years old.

Tornquist: That’s Tornquist. An understandable mistake.

Sophie: Whatever. I wanted to know – Is God left-handed like me?

Tornquist: What an interesting question, Sophie. I really don’t know. I will have to pray about that one.

Sophie: So what you’re saying is you know nothing about God. How did you ever get to become a priest?

Tornquist: Actually, Sophie, I’m not a priest. I’m a minister. I see that Billy has a question. Go ahead, Billy. How old are you?

Billy: I’m eight. Hey, Cardinal Tornquist –

Tornquist: Actually it’s Reverend Tornquist, Billy. What’s your question about God?

Billy: I want to know, where does God go to the bathroom?

Tornquist: Another fascinating question. Thank you, Billy. Well, God is all-powerful. So, I guess he can go to the bathroom anywhere he wants. When it rains in the forest, maybe that’s God’s way of peeing.

Billy: Wow, I had no idea God had to pee so much. Maybe he has a tiny bladder. Sure hope my parents never make me go on any more camping trips. I never knew how gross the outdoors was. Thanks, Cardinal T.

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  • Published On Apr. 15, 2014 by TEJ
  • Jesus vs. the “Jesus Tablet” – a side by side comparison of our Savior vs. the Apple iPad

    jesus vs ipadLast week, Apple began shipping the much hyped iPad, the sexy-looking, wafer-thin tabloid computer that Steve Jobs himself has called “the most important thing” he has ever done. While some detractors scoff that it’s nothing more than a larger version of the popular iPod Touch handheld device, the overwhelming sentiment of most people who have seen it is along the lines of “If I promise you my first born, will you let me leap to the front of the line?” Before the device was even on store shelves, Apple had already received a quarter million pre-orders. Some analysts forecast they could sell 5 million units in the first year, making it the most successful new product launch in history.

    The evangelical fervor is bordering on hysteria. Some techno geeks who have never had a date in their lives are already calling it the greatest invention since Gutenberg printed the first Bible some 600 years ago. Others are simply calling it the Jesus Tablet, because of the almost mystic, spiritual aura surrounding this seeming “holy grail” of computer gadgetry. If that’s not enough of a Biblical connection, why is it that the Bible even has an entire book named after Apple’s founder, the Book of Jobs? At the risk of comparing apples to oracles, this leads me to ask the obvious theological-technological question: Which is better, Jesus or the new “Jesus Tablet”, the iPad?

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  • Published On Apr. 10, 2010 by TEJ