[To view Part I of the Year in Review – January – June, click here.]

Welcome back. What took you so long? We continue now with Part II of The Year in Review for 2010 (July – December), as seen from the Bleachers. Now where were we? Oh yes……

July: The world (and by “world” I mean every single country on the planet besides the USA) is riveted to the exciting FIFA World Cup of Soccer in South Africa.  A new craze is born as people from Tokyo to Paris to Sydney are getting hooked on the endearing monotone droning sound of the buzzing vuvuzela horn (as first reported here in VFTB).

Soon these colorful one-note plastic horns are popping up everywhere – at baseball games, political rallies, shareholders’ meetings, birthday parties, weddings, and, most recently, at my friends’ Bernie and Gwen Weinberger’s baby boy’s circumcision ceremony. Perhaps I should have asked permission first. My bad.

Also in the news, American television raises the bar for highbrow entertainment even higher with the explosive popularity of the hip reality series Jersey Shore. Colorful characters like Snooki and “The Situation” become well-tanned, breast-implanted role models for our kids. Every week is a new life lesson, like this one from episode 17, when cast member Snooki reminds us: “I’m not trashy. Unless I drink too much” or when Pauley cautions impressionable young viewers: “One minute you got three girls in the Jacuzzi, the next minute somebody’s in jail.” Sure beats the pointless tripe they try to fob off on us from the BBC or the National Geographic Channel, if you ask this reporter.

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As a professional journalist, it is my job to stay informed about important news stories and trends, so you don’t have to. This week, as I have done every year since this blog’s inception in 1975, I take stock in the people and events that shaped our world over the past 365 days.

[Editor’s note: For those of you following the Jewish calendar, look for my special Rosh Hashanah “You won’t believe what the Goyim world did to our people this past year” Edition, to be published at sundown on September 28, 2011, the start of the Jewish New Year. – TEJ]

Consider this my Holiday gift to you – a week late, sorry. Blame it on the Post Office. Here is the annual View from the Bleachers’ Year in Review – 2010 Edition, or as I like to call it VFTBYIR-2010E, for short.

Oh, just one thing: Pay no attention to the subtle and repeated placement of gratuitous links to previous VFTB articles scattered throughout this week’s post. My tech person told me search engines like that sort of stuff. Hope you don’t mind. Let’s get started, shall we?

January: Avatar smashes box office records as the biggest grossing movie of all time (not to be confused with Cannibal Holocaust, which gets VFTB’s vote for grossest movie of all time).  Thanks to Avatar’s amazing 3D effects and unprecedented profits, Hollywood begins unleashing a tidal wave of 3D films for 2010, including Alice in Wonderland, Toy Story 3, Rocky XXXVII and Oscar-buzz, early odds-on favorite for Best Picture, Jack Ass 3D (right).

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In the past week, WikiLeaks, the controversial organization that claims its goal is to keep governments honest by revealing classified documents, made news again. They announced that in the upcoming weeks, they will be releasing more than 250,000 classified U.S. diplomatic cables and internal documents – to the dismay and embarrassment of top government officials in the US and the world over.

Government leaders from Italy’s Silvio Berlusconi to Libya’s Muammar Gaddifi to Russia’s Vladimir Putin to North Korea’s Kim Jong Il have been privately ridiculed and derided as incompetent, sexually promiscuous, behaving like a thug or having amazingly bad hair. WikiLeaks’ Australian-born editor and Internet activist, Julian Assange (right) has been characterized as everything from an anarchist to a terrorist – but he has not been ridiculed for having bad hair. This reporter thinks it’s quite stylish, actually.

But this is just the tip of the WikiLeaks iceberg. Thanks to my own painstaking Pulitzer-Prize-deserving investigative journalism and my extensive network of contacts within the Latvian intelligence community, I am about to blow the lid off the latest WikiLeaks scandal. In a View from the Bleachers EXCLUSIVE, I have uncovered WikiLeaks’ secret plans to release everybody’s email communications from the past ten years – Yes, everybody’s – including yours. The reasons for this latest attempt at public humiliation are unclear. My own speculation is that WikiLeaks chief Assange is trying to get back at an ex-girlfriend. But whatever the reasons, the consequences could be potentially devastating for millions of Americans, Russians, Chinese, Indians, Europeans, Middle Easterners, and potentially as many as three Greenlanders.

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In this time of economic uncertainty and shrinking tax revenues, government agencies are being forced to cut costs right and left. Our prisons are no exception. Our prison population over the past two decades has soared to a record-bursting 2.3 million Americans in prison or jail. (Personally, I blame Hollywood celebutantes Lindsay Lohan, Paris Hilton and former Illinois Governor Rod Blagojevich for the overcrowding problem.)

Just less than 1% of the US population is currently incarcerated – in part thanks to my neighbor’s 22-year old stoner son Justin, who is serving 3 months for drinking, driving and smelling like urine while trying to order take-out at Highway tollbooth Exit 7A, which he apparently mistook for a Dominos Pizza. I believe the specific charge was “acting like an obnoxious moron in a public place” or something like that.

The USA has more people in prison than any other country in the world – one more achievement about which Americans can proudly shout “We’re Number One.”  The cost to house all these charming folks is staggering. Check out these startling statistics:

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Life is pretty stressful at times. When I’m feeling a bit overwhelmed, I like to find a comfortable couch, close my eyes and listen to a relaxing sound. And no sounds are more soothing to me than the rhythmic sound of ocean waves crashing into the shore or the gentle gurgling of a babbling brook or the soothing hum of 35,000 rabid South African soccer fanatics at the FIFA World Cup, blowing their lungs out with their plastic 4 dollar and 95 cent vuvuzelas. If you still haven’t heard of a vuvuzela (pronounced “Voo-Voo-ZAY-Lah), it can mean only one thing: You’re an American.

Surely by now you must have seen and heard a vuvuzela. Click here to listen to its soothing sound. Now, wasn’t that relaxing? Now just imagine that soothing humming sound TIMES 35 THOUSAND …. for an hour and a half….. non-stop…. without commercial interruption. Originally used to summon distant African tribal villagers to attend community gatherings, the vuvuzela has become synonymous with the 2010 FIFA World Cup in South Africa, with its distinctive nonstop, deafening, monotone buzzing sound. The vuvuzela may come in 275 different colors, but they all come in just one note: B flat.

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Arizona Governor Jan Brewer recently signed into law a controversial immigration reform bill that has stirred up strong emotions from Republicans and Democrats alike. Underpinning much of the debate is the concern by many that this new law will unleash a tidal wave of abuse as racist rogue cops and INS agents target Hispanics – reminiscent of the roundup of Jews in Nazi Germany in the 1930s. There are protests from some unusual corners: Several prominent Hispanic Major League baseball players are asking other players to boycott next summer’s All Star Game (slated to be played in Phoenix) or at least pledge not swing at anything outside of the strike zone.

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(* Translations for the TI – “Twitter-impaired”: OMG: “Oh My God”;  GR8: “Great”; Twttr: “Twitter”; IC: “I see”; LOC: “Library of Congress”;  Itz: “It’s”; 4: “for”; Deets: “Details”;  TTYL: “Talk To You Later”; RLWNM: “Random Letters With No Meaning”)

In a critically important and bold act of government intervention, it was announced last week that the US Library of Congress (henceforth LOC) will soon be digitally archiving the entire collection of public tweets dating all the way back to Twitter’s inception in March 2006. How many tweets will that be? Twitter processes more than 50 million tweets every day, many of which are vaguely intelligible, with the total to date numbering in the billions. It would take the average person reading 16 hours a day over six thousand years to read all the tweets posted to date or a long weekend to read all the ones having any remote historical significance.

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Please help us avoid another Katrina catastrophe, won’t you? Turns out the next imminent disaster we have to fear is ourselves – or more specifically, our own U.S. Navy.  If we don’t act fast, thousands of people on the tiny island of Guam stand to perish as their island capsizes into the sea. Don’t believe me? Listen to the ominous words of one informed federal government official.

Last week, Rep. Hank Johnson, D-GA. (right), was questioning Navy Admiral Robert Willard during a House Armed Services Committee meeting about the Navy’s plans to relocate 8,000 Navy personnel and their families to Guam. After noting at some length that the island is rather narrow, Rep. Johnson solemnly stated “My fear is that the whole island will become so overly populated it will tip over and capsize.” (I can’t make this stuff up. And, no he was not being facetious.) Admiral Willard paused and replied, “We don’t anticipate that.” You can watch this riveting testimony here.

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Last week, Apple began shipping the much hyped iPad, the sexy-looking, wafer-thin tabloid computer that Steve Jobs himself has called “the most important thing” he has ever done. While some detractors scoff that it’s nothing more than a larger version of the popular iPod Touch handheld device, the overwhelming sentiment of most people who have seen it is along the lines of “If I promise you my first born, will you let me leap to the front of the line?” Before the device was even on store shelves, Apple had already received a quarter million pre-orders. Some analysts forecast they could sell 5 million units in the first year, making it the most successful new product launch in history.

The evangelical fervor is bordering on hysteria. Some techno geeks who have never had a date in their lives are already calling it the greatest invention since Gutenberg printed the first Bible some 600 years ago. Others are simply calling it the Jesus Tablet, because of the almost mystic, spiritual aura surrounding this seeming “holy grail” of computer gadgetry. If that’s not enough of a Biblical connection, why is it that the Bible even has an entire book named after Apple’s founder, the Book of Jobs? At the risk of comparing apples to oracles, this leads me to ask the obvious theological-technological question: Which is better, Jesus or the new “Jesus Tablet”, the iPad?

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If you’re like most patriotic, big government-distrusting Americans, you are probably experiencing a range of emotions right now, from anger to rage to angerful rage. It’s a dark day in America thanks to the dreaded OBAMACARE Act of 2010 which was signed into law this past week. It’s just a matter of time before every last hard-fought freedom we’ve long cherished is pried out of our God-toting, gun-fearing hands – like mankind’s sacred right to be  paid more than womankind. We are on the road to becoming United Socialist States of America. If you ask me, the health care plan I had was working just fine. Thanks a lot, Obamacare.

Here are just a few of the new law’s most pernicious features. It denies us…

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