When shopping at Costco on Black Friday, avoid unnecessary impulse purchases
It started out innocently enough. My wife asked me to go to Costco because we were low on shampoo. Perhaps I should not have gone on Black Friday, when Costco had everything on sale.
The second I breached the entrance of Costco, I was immediately confronted by a bank of alluring gigantic flat screen HDTVs showing exotic tropical waterfalls. Wow! Some in 3-D. Hey, look. If you buy the home theatre sound system package, you can get a 55” flat screen HDTV for only $1,449.99 (big savings today only). What a bargain. So I added an LG 55″ Class 3D 1080p 120Hz LED HDTV with 4 Pairs of 3D Glasses to my flatbed cart.
As I was lugging my cart towards the shampoo aisle, I couldn’t help but notice the festive Christmas tree display. An 8-ft Pre-Lit Clear Mixed Country Artificial Pine ChristmasTree complete with 800 Clear Dura-Lit Mini-lights for $20 off! Wow! It looks so real. By buying it, I’d be doing my part to save the world’s endangered commercial tree farms. So I added the artificial tree with mini-lights to the cart.
On to the shampoo aisle. After all, that is why I came here today. Just before I reached the shampoo section, I noticed this really cool 3-speed nail gun in the hardware aisle. Ever since I was a kid, I’ve always wanted one of those. It’s just $79.99 (regularly $99.99). So I added it to my cart.
And if you’re going to buy a nail gun, you might as well make sure you have an electric drill – oh, and the accompanying Black & Decker 300-piece Ultimate Super Drill Bit Set for just $69.99 more. Oh sure, the last time I used a high-speed drill was in 1987 when I tried unsuccessfully to build shelving for our garage. But you never know when you may need to build a jungle gym for your darling grandchildren (whom I hope to have within the next 15 years).
I almost made it to the shampoo aisle, when I noticed quite the commotion to my left. There was this fruit juicer demonstration going on. Must have been 25 people watching this pitchman convert what looked to be kiwi fruit, bananas and Lego blocks into a delicious fruit smoothie in seconds. Wow! But this wasn’t just ANY juicer. This was the Vitamix 5200 Ultimate Juicer & Blender, on sale today only for just $649.99. I know what you’re saying – isn’t that a bit steep for a juicer? Not when I tell you that it comes with a lifetime warranty on everything but the blade and the motor and they even throw in a Masters Collection 7″ Santoku Knife and a juicer recipe DVD. So I added it to the cart.
The thought of having fruit smoothies for breakfast got me thinking about health and fitness. Which is why I decided to purchase the XTERRA® FS5.25e3 Position Adjustable Incline Ergonomic 20” Stride Elliptical for only $1,229.99. Before you think I went overboard, I should point out it has 15 different resistance settings and it only requires some assembly. Besides, I bought it for the whole family, not for myself.
And what’s better after a vigorous workout than a cold beer? That’s why I decided to also purchase the Wine Enthusiast N’FINITY 340-bottle Multi-temp Glass Door Wine Cellar for only $2,999.99. Okay, I admit I don’t drink wine – or beer for that matter – but I will bet you it can easily double as a fruit – vegetable crisper, so it’s really a smart buy when you think about it. Into the cart.
As I was lugging my series of flatbed carts ever closer to the shampoo aisle, I happened upon the garden center display. I have to tell you, that all-weather wrought iron patio set with collapsible umbrella looked awfully enticing. But I was not about to succumb to that temptation – not when I already owned two other patio sets from previous trips to Costco. No, it would be much smarter to spontaneously splurge on an EasyGrow 8′ x 8′ Greenhouse with Full Shelving, Double Doors and Three Vents, for only $1,299.99. I actually had never thought about taking up flower gardening until precisely that instant. But then I thought, what a wonderful hobby to do with the Mrs., when we retire 18 years from now. She will respect that I am planning ahead. So I added it to the cart.
Not sure how long this buying contagion lasted. It all was a bit of a blur. One incredible bargain after another: a two-in-one gas-powered tiller-mulcher (for that exquisitely thatched lawn), a four-case pack of Little Hottie hand warmers – perfect for when you’re trapped in an avalanche for two weeks in some Wyoming mountain range – and a twelve-month supply of Huggies disposable diapers. I know, our kids are all grown up, but the savings were simply too great to pass up.
I kept adding more and more items to flatbed carts. It wasn’t until I walked out the exit with a Dayton Solid Wood Casket with the Off White Full Velvet Interior and gold-plated swing bar handles in tow that I realized I had gone completely out of control. What had I done? I rationalized the casket purchase because with everything I had just charged to our credit card, a casket might actually come in very handy, as for sure my wife was going to kill me.
Shopping at Costco can be a dangerous adventure for any married male. As I sit here, writing about my reckless Costco Black Friday buying binge, I have this nagging feeling that despite everything I bought, I still forgot to get something.
Oh, crap. Shampoo.
That’s the view from the bleachers. Perhaps I’m off base.
Today’s post is sponsored by Costco – where you can find everything you need – plus a ton of crap you don’t.
© Tim Jones, View from the Bleachers 2011 – 2012
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Tags: bargains, Black Friday, Christmas, Costco, recent, shopping
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Great job. Let me share with you a little prank I made recently. I called my credit card’s customer service line to do some “negotiating.” Having a bit of leverage, I thought it presented a great opportunity to mess with them a little without fear of retribution. I made a video of the call and posted it on my blog along with my comments about what happened and a fuller “director’s cut” transcript. Pay attention to his response to the classic line “Why does Bank of America hate Chistmas?” Enjoy. http://www.ragingwisdom.com/?p=508
This is alarming, Tim. Men are not impulse buyers. We go to the store knowing what we want, buy it, and get out. We — excuse me, Tim, I just got this offer on an online pop-up. Back to you in a jiffy.
Not to worry Tim, as Sam’s Club has Shampoo AND Conditioner on Sale in the gallon size with a pump!
Living in a very small town (20,000 bodies) I have dreamed of having a Costco here so I can do the type of shopping you did on Black Friday. Somethings I would not have purchased as you did, but my range of purcvhases would have been an automatic sewing machine, “USEW” which is so up-to-date in technology that all you need to do is put the fabric under the needle and press a few buttons and dials and you will automatically have a designer garment in no time. Gone are the days of prewashing the fabric, ironoing it, if necessary, buying a pattern, placing the pattern on the fabric and cutting it out – all this before you start to sew. Think of how fashionably myself and my family will be dressed. We could be chosen to be on the fashion runways in all the top cities. The “USEW” machine is a bargain at Costco for only $4,000. Canadian. S & H are extra.
Great Blog Tim. Yer M.I.L.
Lots of giggles as always Tim.
Black Friday has even crept up across the Canadian Border, but nothing is on sale as there usually is nothing to buy in our small town. Except on that very day: my husband having been envious of his in-laws new amplifier and sound system – that the envy took control of his mind.
Off he went to the stereo/video high-end store (No Costco in our town) to upgrade our amplifier. He brought it home and after 6 hours of hooking it up with our other sound equipment – it did not work. Hauling it back to the store defeated he witnessed the store staff hook it up in minutes to their systems and of course it worked perfectly. With determination and humble resignation he bought a new gold-lined cord and a new widget hookup gadget, but it still didn’t work with our system.
So with envy and defeat taking over, he started scheming….
Well … if we sell our amp to our employer, and my old cell-phone (as that might be worth something), cash in our years collections of loonies and twonies (Canadain coins), sell our digital projector to our good friends and beg the store to offer the Black Friday sales spirit, (when nothing was really on-sale) he came home triumphant, having just bought a new projector along with the new amplifier.
They all worked together and our systems is bound to be the envy of our in-laws. Now we will wait until they come over and just watch their envy take over. I wonder what they will buy?
Tim
I thought this was supposed to be a humor blog. Since I am a proud owner of an 8ft Pre-Lit Clear Mixed Country Artificial Pine Christmas Tree, a 3 speed nail gun, a super drill bit set, a Vitamix 5200 Ultimate Juicer and a N’Finity 340 bottle Multi-temp glass door wine cellar I really don’t see the humor in this writing.
Jim
PS
Also, I am seriously thinking about purchasing the Dayton Solid Wood Casket (the gold-plated swing bar handles I think will be deciding factor).
[...] with depleted bladders should make bad, impulsive decisions. That’s why my sources tell me that Costco is now planning to install convenient urinals at every cashier’s checkout station – tentatively [...]
Dare I say I have a client who did a poll on how many people know what Black Friday is. When he asked me, I said of course. Having worked in the family retail business for 15 years it was the most anticipated, dreamed of, longed for, pined for days of the entire year. The day that made all other retail days possible….hopefully. If we were good and actually ended up on Santa’s list.
But his response to the question, “Do you know what Black Friday is?” rendered a most dismal and frightening reality, considering this is almost 2013. Less than 5% knew the real answer. The other 95% had a variety of responses ranging from rage to apathy about racial parity or other colors in the crayon box that have been seriously overlooked, now that they really stopped to think about it…..until they headed off to Costco.