Lower Manhattan Restaurants Ordered to Serve Only Hallowed Ground Roast Coffee

NEW YORK – A new city ordinance now requires all restaurants situated within a four-block radius of the former World Trade Center to serve only Hallowed Ground Roast Coffee® in their establishments. The specially-produced coffee brand was created to honor the victims of the September 11th terrorist attacks.

According to its producer, the Maxwell House division of Kraft Foods, the commemorative coffee is an “all-American style” blend of Columbian and Honduran coffee beans flavored with chicory and “contains absolutely no cardamom, saffron or other Arabic spices.”

The sole exception to the new ordinance is the food court in the planned Park51 Islamic cultural center located near ground zero, which the city ordered to serve only Chock Full o’ Nuts.

Speaking at a convention of the National Automatic Weapons Manufacturers Association, former Alaskan governor and Republican vice-presidential candidate Sarah Palin praised the new ordinance, saying, “The site of the 9/11 attacks is indeed hollowed ground, and it will always be, well, at least until they fill it up with something.“

In related news, President Obama said today that he would not comment on the wisdom of his comment in which he refused to comment on the wisdom of building an Islamic cultural center and mosque near the ground zero site. “When I said what I said about having said what I said and about what I would not say, I was not saying that what I said was what necessarily what I should or should not have said,” the President said.

– Steve Fisher

Tags: obama, Political humor, politics, religion