(* Translations for the TI – “Twitter-impaired”: OMG: “Oh My God”; GR8: “Great”; Twttr: “Twitter”; IC: “I see”; LOC: “Library of Congress”; Itz: “It’s”; 4: “for”; Deets: “Details”; TTYL: “Talk To You Later”; RLWNM: “Random Letters With No Meaning”)
In a critically important and bold act of government intervention, it was announced last week that the US Library of Congress (henceforth LOC) will soon be digitally archiving the entire collection of public tweets dating all the way back to Twitter’s inception in March 2006. How many tweets will that be? Twitter processes more than 50 million tweets every day, many of which are vaguely intelligible, with the total to date numbering in the billions. It would take the average person reading 16 hours a day over six thousand years to read all the tweets posted to date or a long weekend to read all the ones having any remote historical significance.
One of President Obama’s campaign promises was to address the energy crisis. It’s one of his top priorities just after healthcare reform, job creation, education reform and improving his Baseball Opening Day Ceremonial Curve Ball (needs a lot of work).
I beamed with pride when I read that on one front, America is making amazing progress: Energy conservation. According to a recent survey by the widely respected and completely unheard of news publication, The Daily Beast, the United States now ranks #1 in the entire world in personal energy conservation. Okay, if you want to get technical, it actually called the USA the laziest nation on the planet. But I say it’s all in your perspective. Personally, I would offer my American countrymen a high five but I don’t want to have to get up out of my chair. Turns out, according to this report, we Americans rank:
- Number one in per person daily caloric intake
- Number one in number of trips to fast food restaurants per year
- Number one in per person hours of daily television viewing and
- Dead last in the amount of time spent exercising per day, or as I prefer to think of it, first in personal energy conservation!
Please help us avoid another Katrina catastrophe, won’t you? Turns out the next imminent disaster we have to fear is ourselves – or more specifically, our own U.S. Navy. If we don’t act fast, thousands of people on the tiny island of Guam stand to perish as their island capsizes into the sea. Don’t believe me? Listen to the ominous words of one informed federal government official.
Last week, Rep. Hank Johnson, D-GA. (right), was questioning Navy Admiral Robert Willard during a House Armed Services Committee meeting about the Navy’s plans to relocate 8,000 Navy personnel and their families to Guam. After noting at some length that the island is rather narrow, Rep. Johnson solemnly stated “My fear is that the whole island will become so overly populated it will tip over and capsize.” (I can’t make this stuff up. And, no he was not being facetious.) Admiral Willard paused and replied, “We don’t anticipate that.” You can watch this riveting testimony here.
Last week, Apple began shipping the much hyped iPad, the sexy-looking, wafer-thin tabloid computer that Steve Jobs himself has called “the most important thing” he has ever done. While some detractors scoff that it’s nothing more than a larger version of the popular iPod Touch handheld device, the overwhelming sentiment of most people who have seen it is along the lines of “If I promise you my first born, will you let me leap to the front of the line?” Before the device was even on store shelves, Apple had already received a quarter million pre-orders. Some analysts forecast they could sell 5 million units in the first year, making it the most successful new product launch in history.
The evangelical fervor is bordering on hysteria. Some techno geeks who have never had a date in their lives are already calling it the greatest invention since Gutenberg printed the first Bible some 600 years ago. Others are simply calling it the Jesus Tablet, because of the almost mystic, spiritual aura surrounding this seeming “holy grail” of computer gadgetry. If that’s not enough of a Biblical connection, why is it that the Bible even has an entire book named after Apple’s founder, the Book of Jobs? At the risk of comparing apples to oracles, this leads me to ask the obvious theological-technological question: Which is better, Jesus or the new “Jesus Tablet”, the iPad?
This week’s blog post is a guest post by Steve Fisher, the funniest person I have ever known personally. Steve is based in Prague, Czech Republic, where he works in the field of Corporate Communications. On the side, Steve has had acting roles in several films and television shows.
It is my pleasure to turn this week’s post over to my life-long friend. In his commentary, Steve asks, Have you read the fine print on those online agreements lately? You might want to take a second look before clicking “I agree.” (Continued below…)
– Tim Jones