Archive for March, 2010

The end of freedom in America. Blame it on the tyranny of Obamacare

Protest sign

If you’re like most patriotic, big government-distrusting Americans, you are probably experiencing a range of emotions right now, from anger to rage to angerful rage. It’s a dark day in America thanks to the dreaded OBAMACARE Act of 2010 which was signed into law this past week. It’s just a matter of time before every last hard-fought freedom we’ve long cherished is pried out of our God-toting, gun-fearing hands – like mankind’s sacred right to be  paid more than womankind. We are on the road to becoming United Socialist States of America. If you ask me, the health care plan I had was working just fine. Thanks a lot, Obamacare.

Here are just a few of the new law’s most pernicious features. It denies us…

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  • As a business owner (oh, and by the way, YOUR BOSS) who is paying for enormously expensive health insurance for…
    Cynthia Clay
  • Published On Mar. 27, 2010 by TEJ
  • Lindsay Lohan is NOT a milkaholic!

    Lindsay Lohan drunk - thumbnailDid you happen to catch the mean-spirited Super Bowl ad by those bastards at E*Trade making fun of poor Lindsay Lohan? You know the one. It features a toddler boy talking on the phone with his toddler girlfriend who gives him grief for not calling her the night before. The girlfriend, suspicious of his behavior, confronts him and asks “And that milkaholic Lindsay wasn’t over?” just as another baby girl appears onscreen saying, “Milk-a-whaaat?” Here is the ad.

    Well, hello! Could it be any more obvious this was a direct, mean-spirited frontal assault on the reputation of the quiet, publicity-shy mega-star? Of course not. So the 23-year old celebrity actress did what any average private citizen who owns five houses, a lear jet and their own line of fashion footwear  would do when an ad mentions someone who shares their first name – she sued ‘em. Yes, she filed a totally justified lawsuit against those insensitive jerks at E*Trade for their blatant efforts to defame her in this commercial. Can you blame her? It’s obviously a direct character assassination, poking cruel fun at all the past media hype about her personal struggles with addiction to alcohol and cocaine and pain killers and stimulants and cough syrup and nasal spray and cosmetic surgery and changing her hair color and going to night clubs without wearing any underwear and … (Editor’s note: the preceding passage has been abridged due to space limitations.)

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    • Yeah! And what about me? I was so humiliated by being confused with her that I finally changed my name…
      Steve Fisher
  • Published On Mar. 19, 2010 by TEJ
  • Look, Daddy! I landed the Space Shuttle!

    look daddy - thumbnailI think it’s wonderful that so many dads and moms are realizing the wonderful learning experience that is “Bring your child to work day.” One of the great joys in life is bringing your child to work to learn what it is you do each day while they’re usually at school ignoring their teachers and texting the their BFF (Best Friend Forever) in the row behind them.

    So I was thrilled when I learned about the caring dad last week who, as an air traffic controller at JFK International Airport (the 5th busiest in the nation), invited his elementary school-age son to take over the controls to guide planes during their take-off and landing procedures (I can’t make this stuff up). What a swell dad. And by all accounts, other than the near crash landing of a minor non-commercial twin engine plane, which overran the runway, the lad’s instructions were almost flawless. Hey, how do you learn unless you make a few mistakes?

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    • Tim, Good one! And don’t forget the hottest new trend in parent-child bonding: “Take Your Child to…
      Steve Fisher
  • Published On Mar. 12, 2010 by TEJ
  • A moment of sadness – America’s greatest inventor has tossed his last toss

    Frisbee inventor - thumbnailDeep thought of the day: “I kept wondering why the Frisbee seemed to be getting larger and larger… and then it hit me.” Normally that always gets a laugh out of me. But not today.

    Pardon my melancholy mood. Perhaps the greatest American inventor of the 20th century just left us. Of course, I am referring to Walter Morrison, inventor of the Frisbee. Actually, he called his invention the Pluto Platter – before he turned over the concept (and what would have been his future fortune) to the nice folks at Wham-O Incorporated. Mr. Morrison passed away last month at his home in Utah at the age of um…. old as dirt.

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    • Definitely the best ending of a "View From the Bleachers" to date. Walter is clearly in a league with…
      Drew Fisher
  • Published On Mar. 06, 2010 by TEJ